Grief Songs: Music for a Grieving Heart

© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, DCC

People have known for centuries that music touches the human soul. We know intuitively that music affects us in profound and healing ways, both emotionally and physically, and present-day research demonstrates this to be true. In health care settings such as hospitals, clinics and hospices, music therapy is found to be remarkably effective in helping to calm patients, reduce stress, ease muscle tension, promote movement and manage pain.

. . .one of the most beautiful gifts that humans have brought to the earth is music. In great music, the ancient longing of the earth finds a voice . . . Music ministers to the silence and solitude of nature; it is one of the most powerful, immediate, and intimate of sensuous experiences. Music is, perhaps, the art form that brings us closest to the eternal because it changes immediately and irreversibly the way we experience time. When we are listening to beautiful music, we enter into the eternal dimension of time. Transitory, broken linear time fades away, and we come into the circle of belonging within the eternal. The Irish writer Sean O’Faolain said, “In the presence of great music we have no alternative but to live nobly.” [John O’Donohue, in Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, pp. 72-73]

The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey Understand the nature of grief and loss and their potential impact on all aspects of your life: physical, financial, emotional, social and spiritual. Learn how to move through grief actively and make the process of mourning a healing one. Find support and guidance in dealing with the many facets of grief. Learn more about this source of online support by grief counselor Marty Tousley.

When we are struggling with grief, music can lift us up, take us out of our current mood, and transport us to another time and place. When we cannot find the words, a particular song may express our thoughts and feelings even better than we are able to do.  With lyrics or without, music can be used as an escape or a respite from our pain, or as a form of relaxation or meditation while we confront our sorrow.  Music helps us to remember the one who died, and it can help to bring a sense of balance, peace and harmony back into our lives, even if only for a moment.

The following message was posted recently by one of our members in the Behaviors in Bereavement Forum on our Grief Healing Discussion Groups Web site:

. . . I have been listening to music that makes me both happy and sad, because it reminds me of my dad. Some of the lyrics make me cry, and some make me smile. I should probably only share the happy stuff, but no, this site also acknowledges the sad feelings, I feel. So, I don’t mean to make everyone sad, but I wanted to share a song:

Since this post first appeared in mid-December of  2008, several other members have added links to a number of beautiful songs  whose lyrics have touched them in some meaningful way. Due to copyright claims,  you may find that, when you click on the links we’ve included below, some of the  videos no longer appear on YouTube.  If that is the case, try typing the title  of the song and the artist into YouTube’s search engine to see if another  rendition of the song comes up for you.

If you’ve found a special song that soothes you or helps you remember your loved one, you are invited to add it to our list by posting it in a comment:

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