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"The only time a woman gets to change a man is when he is a baby."
~ Natalie Wood, actress

Finding Your Spiritual Soul Mate
The Romantic Résumé Questionnaire: Values and Personal Beliefs
By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

As you travel this unique pathway towards love, intimacy and partnership, it's important to continue to evaluate and clarify what you are really seeking in a relationship. Today we'll focus your values and beliefs as you journey towards your spiritual soul mate.

In addition to religious and cultural background and training, humans are made up of a complex array of aspects and particles. Fragments of the past, bits and pieces from parents, snippets from media, movies, education, past loves formulate our belief systems and our values in life.

For better or for worse, many humans have some pretty firm IDEAS on how things are and how they should be.

Being on the Same Page
Any relationship requires a bit of bending and meeting in the middle of certain issues, but there are some things that none of us would change or could change for another. There is an expression in publishing that people use when they are trying to assess another person's response to something they're trying to explain. They ask, "Are we on the same page?"

It is important that people in a relationship are on the same page to some extent; for some it is more crucial than for others that both parties share identical beliefs and values.

The movie The Way We Were comes to mind. Although the characters played by Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford loved one another, their personal and political agendas were too distant to make marriage work.

So it is important to look at some of your personal values and points of views, and the values and point of view you would admire and respect in another.

Let's explore where you stand on values in your romantic life using this check list.
Print out and answer these questions about your values and beliefs:

Is there a cause that you are passionate about?


Do you consider yourself political apolitical?


Are you conservative, liberal, middle of the road in your thinking about this country, the world?


Are you Republican or Democrat? An Independent?


Is political party important to you?


Would you volunteer for something that means a lot to you, even if it were dangerous, depressing or stressful - such as volunteer to help the homeless, or disaster recovery work?


Do you go out on a limb to speak your mind or seek justice?


Do you believe in the death penalty, abortion, saving the rainforest or other pressing issues of the day -- or not believe in any of those things?


Are you a staunch supporter of women's rights? Men's rights? Human rights? Animal rights?


What do you value most in our world?


What do you value and believe in least?


Now, consider and answer these questions about the importance of a mate with matching values, beliefs and point of view:

Would you prefer a mate who is passionate about a cause that is meaningful to you, or passionate about any cause -- just a passionate and active person?


Would you prefer someone with similar political sensibilities, or who is apolitical?


Do you seek a partner who is conservative, liberal, middle-of-the road in his or her thinking and approach to this country, this world?


Does it matter if he or she is in the same political party?


If you are a Democrat, could you even think of loving a Republican, or visa versa?


Is your mates political party even important, or of interest, to you?


Would you want to be with someone willing to go out of his or her way to help others?


Would you prefer a self-centered person to an overly giving person?


Do you see yourself with someone who would go out on a limb to speak his or her mind or seek justice?


Would you want your mate to believe in the same controversial issues you believe in?


Could you deal with loving someone whose views are completely opposite to yours on important issues?


Would you be comfortable with someone who is fighting for his or her rights or would you rather be with someone who is celebrating them?


What values and points of view would you hold dear or respect in another.


What would you hope this mate to value and believe in least?


On a scale from 1 to 10, rate how important it is to have a mate who is in sync with your system of value.


Closing Thoughts
How flexible can you be in shifting some of your own personal values and beliefs? How willing are you to accept a mate who is not of a like mind on key issues? If you haven't give much thought to values and beliefs before, ask yourself if you could you tolerate a mate who fiercely opposes your point of view or asks you to change your heartfelt values and beliefs?

Copyright © Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway. All rights reserved. Excerpted from Rev. Laurie Sue's Self-Healing Expressions course Find Your Spiritual Soul Mate: Transforming Your Romantic Destiny with A Romantic Resumé.

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, author of Wedding Goddess: A Divine Guide to Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss, and A Goddess Is A Girl's Best Friend: A Divine Guide To Finding Love, Success and Happiness is the creator and instructor of these popular Self-Healing Expressions courses:

Find Your Spiritual Soul Mate: Transforming Your Romantic Destiny with A Romantic Resumé

Discovering the Goddess: A Path to Healing, Spirituality and Joy